The Life Event:
Lizzie got in a big fight with a mean old man at the Whole Foods.
Mound ice in a shallow glass such as a coupe or martini glass. Use an orange as a base around which the ice can be formed to create a concave glacier. Shake ingredients with cracked ice and strain into prepared glass.
1 oz. fresh lime juice
1 oz. grapefruit juice
1 oz. orange juice
1 oz. unsweetened pineapple juice
1 oz. honey syrup (1 part honey dissolved in 1 part warm water; let cool)
1 oz. light Puerto Rican rum
1 oz. gold Jamaica rum
2 oz. aged Demerara rum
1 teaspoon falernum
1 teaspoon St. Elizabeth allspice liqueur
⅛ teaspoon Herbsaint
⅛ teaspoon grenadine
Dash Angostura bitters
1 cup crushed ice
Put everything into a blender, saving ice for last. Blend at high speed for 5 seconds. Pour into a ceramic rum barrel or a large snifter. Add ice cubes to fill. Garnish with mint, fresh pineapple and an edible purple orchid.
Shake all ingredients with ice, strain and serve.